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When I should have been taken out by Abu - http://turkeyphant.livejournal.com/
When I should have been taken out by Abu
It was the fault of some moran who continually managed to interrupt my life that I only just caught the bus. I washed, dried and arranged my hair then got ready and threw belongings into my pockets all within two hundred and fifty seconds. I sprinted all the way to fifty yards from the stop and then ensured that it would stop for me by valiantly diving into the road and blocking its path. When I finally got on, I found I was short of change by about ten pence and had to use a fiver instead of offloading my huge pile of five pence pieces weighing down my trendily low-slung trousers. From Crawley, I worked out an elaborate train route to either of the Dorking stations and, because I'm now buying big boys' tickets, had to jog down to a hole in the wall to withdraw yet more cash.

While I rode the train Reigateward, I listened to The Cooper Temple Clause on semirandom but this enjoyable pursuit was interrupted by a woman dressed all in black. I guess she was in her mid-thirties and the last time I'd looked over at her she had seemed to be trying to meditate or something. But I digress: this woman came over and sat opposite me, pointed to my jacket and immediately engaged me in conversation regarding my old and half-hearted assortment of badges. It seemed she was especially interested in the Anti-Nazi League one as she was unaware that it continued its work to this day. "Oh yes indeed," said I and thus went on to describe membership, ideals, events and, naturally, Quiggers' recent UK tour in aid of them. I told her to check out the website when she next got a chance a she enquires, "have you ever heard of a site called Slashdot?" Have I heck! I intone some remark effecting my love for this particular cyber-hangout and she comes straight back by exclaiming, "me, I'm a Linux user at heart - don't know anything about Microsoft and wouldn't dare touch Windows." I am only slightly shocked yet absolutely delighted. We then launch into a joint tirade against Windows security permissions and discuss recent stories regarding Republicans and dodgy voting machines, apparently much to the chagrin of the chap she's now sitting next to.

Needless to say, we chatted about geeky topics and subtle politics for some while and she was very well informed and intelligently spoken and I was even inclined to agree when she cogently argued that I ought to create a website and write about things such as wars, autocracy, bigotry, unix, password hashes and the open source movement. At Redhill we departed company but only after a joyous cussing of all things Macromedia. She plugged her personal website but my ears failed me again and I misheard but no matter because I thoroughly enjoyed our discourse and I seem to be attracting trippy encounters nowadays.

The event at the Dorking Halls that night was your pretty typical affair – lots of eight year old girls trying to get drunk so that their boyfriends can see some nine year old lad touch them up in the dark at the back while their favourite song plays over the PA. Kathryn was rushing about all over the place being horribly earnest and getting far too worried about how it was going like she was a already mother waiting for her six year-old's ballet exam results after months of private tuition. Still, like I say, it was a pretty normal "band night" style thing going on, the very type that I so adore (if only because I get to lecture just-thirteens on the evils of alcohol).

At the very beginning Clare took me by the arm and Sophie, who was on the other side, whispered in my ear assuring me that Clare always did that when she was hitting on someone. The same thing continued the entire night with Catriona and friends giggling a lot and continually enquiring as to whether I was planning on making a move. The whole time I was reluctant to reciprocate to Clare's flirtations because I knew that userinfoKappo was still obsessed with her, I didn't think she was insanely hotttt back then and anyway, nothing makes sense anymore. Still it was all generally enjoyable even if Kathryn did lose my alcie bottle when she borrowed my jacket and we failed to get served at some garage straight after cussing all C2H5OH-swiggers.

userinfoKappo went off to bone some horrifically ugly girl (who, apparently, now wants my cock) and userinfoBanks went to try and bone an even uglier one. userinfoSam and I probably would have felt sorry for her if she weren't so damn hideous. Still it felt great when I spent the final couple of hours sitting on a sofa delicately wedged between Sophie and Clare on the sofa confidently chatting away as though I'd always spent my days talking to attractive females. I hadn't seen Sophie for quite some time, so it was nice to be reunited. But was it just me or did Clare hold a little closer than was required and give me a particularly funny look as we embraced just before I left for the train station?

    mood: love
    choon: Some crap by The Dandy Warhols
Comments
From:massy [.]
Posted: Wednesday 10th March, 2004 at 16:13.21
 
It was just you.
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Wednesday 10th March, 2004 at 23:20.39
 so?
Ah, what a kind man - the consistency with which you leave smile-comments is truly commendable.
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Wednesday 10th March, 2004 at 17:15.27
 
fuck, do you live in crawley??

you poor poor soul if you do..
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Wednesday 10th March, 2004 at 23:22.22
 
Well, it's not strictly true.

However, Crawley is my nearest area of habitation and provides the closest train stations, so I'll gladly accept any pity still reserved for me .
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 04:59.30
 
you can have all my pity, every ounce of it. although i live in horsham so i probably deserve some too, but crawley....eech
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 08:16.36
 
Yeah. Move to Horley, the centre of the universe.
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 08:32.47
 
haha...possibly....i thought mannings heath was the centre of the universe? you just can't beat a few good old west sussex injokes
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 08:43.51
 
I bet old RGS injokes were far better, actually :p

Stow obviously being the best.
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 09:04.25
 
That's so true. Stow was legendary and practically transcended the whole parochial RGS-only barrier. Ragou and totally wankered, dude spread pretty well too...

Come on, let's bring on the nostalgia - what's everyone's favourite RGS injoke?
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 09:07.36
 
Well, one of my favourite moments involving the word stow was when we were playing some game on broadfield and the man they call stow tried to steal the ball. I shouted, "ALL ON STOW!" Consequently about 20 people bundled him, and I'm not exaggerating. This caused him to look very hurt, and was a highly enjoyable event.
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 10:37.46
 
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 11:12.59
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 12:17.46
 
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 17:07.16
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 23:46.54
 
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Saturday 13th March, 2004 at 14:23.37
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Sunday 14th March, 2004 at 03:03.32
 
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Sunday 14th March, 2004 at 04:46.07
 
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 16:30.28
 
rgs? reigate grammar? i know a couple of people from there..although you probably mean something completely different and now i look foolish but hey, what's new
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 17:08.26
 
No, you're right. RGS: Reigate Grammar School. Most amusing rebellious time was spent there.
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Friday 12th March, 2004 at 08:57.46
 
From:dawsmonkee [.]
Posted: Friday 12th March, 2004 at 09:31.10
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 23:44.28
 
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Friday 12th March, 2004 at 09:01.37
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Sunday 14th March, 2004 at 02:23.00
 
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Sunday 14th March, 2004 at 16:34.53
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 15th March, 2004 at 05:42.56
 
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 10:41.01
 
Awww, you poor thing. I know Crawley's bad but hey, at least it's on a semidecent train line so that you can escape...
From:craloine [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 16:28.53
 
i've already escaped to london, pretty much. i hear people go to university for other reasons than escaping an eternity of suburbia but i can't think of a better one
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Thursday 11th March, 2004 at 23:42.19
 
Sounds fine to me, and it's certainly better than my reasons: because every else is and becuase I'm more terrified of thinking about the alternatives.
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