Turkeyphant (turkeyphant) wrote,

  • Music:

another two hundred and fifty million spermatozoa writhing toward death444

The last couple of months have been fucking weird. For the first time in forever I've had a vague amount of pseudo-attention from girls with Holly giving me her number then actually texting, as well as Clare faggishly whining a bit. After falling more and more for Holly but continually fretting that, somehow, I still want Sophie "deep" down, I had a realisation today. It may all be inspired by my patheticness after Sophie said she wanted me once, but I just can't let go no matter how much I want Holly and feel that I need her. They're bessie friends for chrissakes. But I felt little reaction to her looking for partners at parties and burying boy's faces into her breasts. Sure I had an overwhelming urge to have her with me at the Hope Of The States gig and I was furious when she couldn't come to my house, but today Holly just casually mentioned that Sophie was out tonight "boning" her year 10. This news hit me straight away and I reeled as though it had been a physical blow of jealousy. I ought to stop pretending to myself but I still don't know what to do.

And so another post that started off positively has degenerated back into wah wah wah...
Tags: emo, girls

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