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all i ever wanted all i ever needed is here in my arms words are very unnecessary theycanonlydoharm
2004-05-03 23:50

I achieved less than 30% in my last six A2 mocks and had lengthy and serious discussions with several of my teachers after lessons today. I need to fucking cease failing at life because, no matter what I say, I actually do care a bit. At least doing badly in classes makes me look cool – still, I'll deal with it.


userinfoSammie was irritating because he whined about a passport photograph of Catriona nine times over. I can't explain to him that I fully understand, but that he's wrong. He is forgiven though.


userinfoLaura texted me in physics to say she's broken up with userinfoGraham – it was devastating news. The way they made each other smile provided some of my happiest moments. The worst part is that they are both moranic and, as such, it's almost certainly due to retarded reasons (duh). I fucking hate gayboys who are cute then they only break with lovers so as to not be a "burden" and the like or because they're so filled with self-loathing that they can't bring themselves to see any worth in the mirror. I hoped something would get sorted out but then gave up. If anyone out there is fucking up something good because of misunderstandings, please just learn to communicate, kiddies.

And then I was struck with background echoes of sadness because I remember I care that Holly hasn't communicated with me. I also continually make myself upset by talking to Sophie who's clearly re-established herself as way out of my league and insists on moaning about her boyffffffuhfuhfuh. Castration is the answer I tell you.


Good one: userinfoLaura now hates me for mentioning the break up to her friends just as I find out that, for some reason, I was the only one meant to know.


2004-05-16 00:20

Later on I can laugh at myself for trying so hard to be hurt again like in a million bad movies. I convince myself that Sophie might genuinely want to be a friend, before noticing that she only speaks to me when I've initiated conversations in order to be polite. Even then she only half-heartedly talks about things that end up making me feel sad. Fucking hell: I need to stop analysing my own lack of penis length like a prepubescent. I still flirt outrageously and she laughs it off in that long-perfected soul-crushing way. It so annoying because I still think she's hott despite continually misreading her unenthusiastic politeness as vague affection. But then I have been in the sort of mood where I need to be pissed off by the whole, "you're a really sweet boy" and "I know I can talk to you, Jon, if I'm feeling upset or my boyfriends dump me" thing...


And then, out of the fucking blue, userinfoLois emails me on the 15th of May. How long has it been? About two years? She says we should meet up, haha.


Still, I cheer up by reminding myself of the fact that userinfoSuda really does fail at existence. And after all, when I'm not being a self-indulgent prick, I'll admit that life's been great for ages. Apart from examination stations, the only things that make me ride the waaaaahmbulance could, as ever, easily and instantly be solved by severing my penis. I'll say it over and over until you morons understand.


This entry was brought to you by yet more tedium and my almost-complete lack of motivation.

    mood: fine really blah
    choon: Depeche Mode – Enjoy The Silence
From:amoe [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 04:10.00

Another quality entry.

From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 04:23.15
You knows it.
From:soda_dreamer_ [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 08:19.35
 it aint healthy
3 penis references in one enrty........bordering on the obsessive?
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 08:59.47
I had everything planned to finally cut it off on Saturday night before I accidentally got boned.

I'm currently thinking that I'll reschedule the grand event to tonight. Wish me luck.
From:geekyisgood [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 10:02.47
*hugs* maybe this just sounds really sad because I'm sad, I don't know. xx
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 10:19.06
It rather sad in a self-piting way, but thankfully the following five months were fucking ace.
From:pixiella [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 14:38.25
Well i've been living without a penis for nearly 17 years now, and it's never bothered me..
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 19:53.44
Every time I try to sever it I get boned. Woe.
From:umberleigh [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 22:11.50
Ahh! so that's how I un-fail at getting boned.

*hack, hack, bleed*

Bah. didn't work, but now I'm a eunuch, so at least I don't have to worry about getting boned anymore.
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 23:44.14
It's actually almost quite sad.
From:soda_dreamer_ [.]
Posted: Thursday 9th December, 2004 at 03:05.26
Perhaps thats why you keep trying to sever it?
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Friday 10th December, 2004 at 16:10.25
From:alamory [.]
Posted: Monday 13th December, 2004 at 03:50.48
i believe you minus
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 13th December, 2004 at 12:18.10
Communication aids the truth.
From:umberleigh [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 14:38.35
I'll go fetch the wood chopper :P

Asexuality and celibacy are the way forward (but only because I fail with all chicks ever).

I miss your deadpan sarcasm. When do you get back home for the festival of commerce?
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 19:54.09

No, really.
From:umberleigh [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 22:06.05
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Monday 6th December, 2004 at 23:43.45
Come to Brighton with me before I leave the world forever.
From:pixiella [.]
Posted: Tuesday 7th December, 2004 at 14:19.01
Is it true that time doesn't actually exist?
If not, is time the 4th dimension?

You should answer these, Mr Cambridge.
I would ask my dad, but he's the scariest man since sliced bread.
From:turkeyphant [.]
Posted: Wednesday 8th December, 2004 at 05:06.44
Time exists more than you could ever imagine.
Defining "dimensions" will only confuse you - try not to.
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